


Three Times Tyler Couldn't Leave the Bed and the One Time He Could

by edy



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: 3+1, Alternate Universe, Depression, Established Relationship, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edy/pseuds/edy
Summary: The chocolate chips atop the stack are in the shape of an alien waving. Josh has worked diligently, no doubt with his tongue sticking out and his eyes squinted as they so often do when he is concentrated.





	Three Times Tyler Couldn't Leave the Bed and the One Time He Could

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: 3+1
> 
> translation into русский available: [Three Times Tyler Couldn't Leave the Bed and the One Time He Could](https://ficbook.net/readfic/7658480) by [smerchii](https://ficbook.net/authors/1711281)

1

It's a heavy feeling on his chest, one that reminds him of an anvil sitting upon it, crushing him until his ribs might break in several pieces and kill him.

Oh, does he wish he would close his eyes when he goes to bed at night to never open them again. Come morning, if he were to open his eyes, he might look upon a bright light. Maybe his grandfather would be there, reaching for him so he can join his relatives in those pale orange clouds.

He wishes for that.

But he opens his eyes, and he sees the back of Josh's pink head, and he knows he is alive because seeing Josh just lying there has never hurt him as much as anything else in the world.

Josh is snoring.

Tyler closes his eyes, but he opens them again. He opens them again. He opens them every day and thinks about gorging them out so he could hold them in his palms like an oddity.

Rousing, Josh moves across the bed. Across Tyler's torso, Josh's arm rests, and he whispers in Tyler's ear, "Do you think you can do today?"

This hurts, too. Josh speaking to him hurts.

"I can't, Josh."

"It's okay," Josh says. He rubs Tyler's chest. "It's okay. It's okay."

Josh never pushes him. Josh understands, and he delivers breakfast in bed with a smile on his face. "Pancakes," he says, "in the shape of flying saucers."

The chocolate chips atop the stack are in the shape of an alien waving. Josh has worked diligently, no doubt with his tongue sticking out and his eyes squinted as they so often do when he is concentrated.

"Thank you," Tyler says, and Josh kisses his forehead and leaves to go to work.

2

The mail runs. Tyler hears the worker knock on the door three times before dropping the package on the front porch and hopping back into their truck. The truck starts, drives away, and the dogs along their street bark and bark.

Tyler knows it's a gift for Josh, something he ordered for Josh's birthday. It's one of those stuffed animals, the ones that are microwavable, huggable, and warm. Tyler purchased two of them. He can get out of bed, grab the box, and hide beneath the covers with his new teddy bear. He can sleep and imagine he's burning in hell, but he can't even do that. He can't even do that.

3

Josh is still away, and Tyler's stomach hurts. He chews on his nails. When he finds he has already chewed off his nails, he moves onto his cuticles. Yes, it hurts, and they bleed, but Tyler licks up all the blood and ignores the cramping in his abdomen.

+1

The sheets smell like lavender, and so, Tyler rises from the bed and shuffles to the bathroom. It hurts to walk, as everything else so often does, and he has to sit down to pee. He holds his thighs until his grip turns the skin white, bending until he thinks he might fall headfirst to the floor.

In the kitchen, Tyler pokes at a daffodil on the table that was not here the last time he emerged from the bedroom. The leaves are a little dry, cracking at the edges. Tyler uses tap water from a glass to sustain it, letting the beads rain on the leaves and keep it alive.

Tyler sniffs.

Josh walks through the front door and into the kitchen. With the package from this morning under his arm, he stares at Tyler, and Tyler stares at him. He says, "Hi." He smiles and says, "What do you want for dinner?"


End file.
